No Net!

We got paperwork in the mail yesterday. That's exciting. Two congregations. Both look promising. We have to get the complete binder of information on one of them from another student here who is also looking at that congregation. So we will have more info about it a little later.

After looking through the paperwork I realize, this is real. There is no going back now. I can't decide I want to move back to Nebraska. I guess I've always looked at seminary would end and that we would be going back to "normal" life. Normal life is going to be Western North Dakota. It's kind of sinking in now. Family is 15 hours away. That's so far.

The call is happening now. We feel called as a family to pursue this ministry. We feel called to move where we are needed, and we feel that God has called us to Western North Dakota to serve his people there. For four long years it's been waiting. I felt the call a little stronger on internship, I know Robert will say the same thing. But for the most part it's been four years of questions. I know those questions won't end with graduation, but it just feels like this chapter is our lives is closing. The safety net is being pulled away and here we teeter on the tight rope... no net! The safety of "learning time" is gone, and it's real world here we come! It's just so scary without that net!

Signs of Spring

 
 For us the signs of spring are the "writing on the wall" or in our case the writing on the sidewalk! Brigid has taken a special love to playing with chalk. The top one is of course my picture, and the bottom one is her very creative and colorful picture. I'll call it "curvy lines" :) We had some great mommy/Brigid time outside yesterday before the rain hit today. It was good for both of us to get out, and spend some time together, just the two of us. 

It's out of my control... take a deep breath and accept it.

Chapter 2 begins. In my book chapter 2 is all about losing control. Not losing your mind.. although for me, the two seem to go hand in hand. It's about letting go. Realizing that as you wait, usually the things you are waiting on are out of your control. Relinquishing that control to God. Prayerfully knowing that you can't not make things different, and being okay with that. In the back of the chapter there are questions, and one question is "Think of a situation where a forced wait made (or is making you) realize you were (are) not in control."

I've been thinking long and hard about this one. And of course the first situation to pop into my mind is our current status with assignment. Bishop called on Friday and had given our paperwork to two congregations. One of them sounds like a winner, just what we want. And the other is a bit unknown for us. It's not sounding like a good fit for us. But as we wait for paperwork from the congregations, I am trying very very hard to keep an open mind. And it's hard for me to be so out of control. I have been spending time as I feed Clara in the early morning hours with God. I pray and talk to him. I ask him the usual things, keep my family safe, bless my friends. And after reading this chapter, last night, I added something. "God, help me to accept that maybe this first call won't be exactly what we are looking for. Help me to accept that I have no control over this process. Allow me to let the Holy Spirit work through the call committee of these places, and through Robert as he looks over paperwork and possibly interviews. Help me to be open, supportive, and accepting of the decisions made by other people, and Lord guide them to what is best for Robert in his ministry."

Whew. That's a hard one for me. The Martha in me, and we all know that she usually reigns supreme, wants to pray to God for a big parsonage with a fenced in yard and sliding glass for the doggie door. And oh yeah, 3 bedrooms, 2 bath, big kitchen. Good congregation with little to no turmoil, easy first call for Robert. That would be me trying to control it! And I know these places exist. But I have to accept what the Holy Spirit gives us. I have to let what God has planned unfold without my little Martha fingers getting in there at all. It's out of my control, I need to step back, take a deep breath, and accept it! Lord, help me to let your Holy Spirit work in our lives. Amen!

Sweet baby girl

 I just love her face in this one and wanted to share it with you all. What a little doll! 

Assignment waiting

About a month ago we found out we will be moving to Region 3, and then on March 5th, we found out region 3 had been narrowed down to Western North Dakota. And then just one week ago today, we found out, from a meeting with our wonderful new Bishop, Mark Narum, it would most likely be northern and western North Dakota.

The whole thing has been a bit of a whirlwind for me. Since I gave birth to my second daughter on Feb 16th. This assignment journey started on the 18th of Feb, as I still lay in my hospital bed getting to know my new baby girl. And it's been happening so fast. Hard to believe that was all a month ago today. Whew! Perhaps God has been working in my life in all this.

I've been reading a book "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting". I am horribly impatient. Everything should be done now. That's how I've always lived my life. And well, since my sweet baby girl #2 came into our lives, that has changed. This whole assignment journey has been taking a backseat to midnight feedings and dirty diapers. While it's still important to me, it's just not been my focus. Which has been a blessing. My impatience has come around, and I am happy to just wait and see what unfolds.

The book has a wonderful quote in the first few pages "Do you have the patience to wait till the mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself." I am letting my mud clear. The Bishop told us we would have paperwork for congregations in the next two weeks. That mud is settling. And I am honestly hardly even thinking about it. The water is clearing. But I'm still waiting. Which is okay. Waiting isn't so bad.